From August 27-28, Major League Baseball will participate in a new event called The Players’ Weekend. Amongst new-look jerseys and caps, each player will have the option to put a nickname on the back of the jersey in place of their last name. Today, the names and jerseys were released, and we present the top 10 player nicknames.
10. Trevor Bauer – Bauer Outage
Bauer is a huge nerd. He studied engineering at UCLA and missed a start and cut another short in last year’s World Series after slicing open his finger while repairing a drone. Then, he brought the drone to a press conference to explain how it happened. Also, he sometimes helps Twitter followers with their math homework. Bauer Outage is a perfect nerd nickname for the Cleveland right-hander.
9. Carl Edwards Jr. – Carls Jr.
Clever as they come. On another note, it looks like Carl could use a few more burgers.
8. Aaron Judge – All Rise
I think we’re all getting a little tired of hearing about Aaron Judge, but he’s still a great, humble guy. The nickname is a solid shoutout to the Yankees fans who have ushered in his superstardom.
7. Bronson Arroyo – Free Love
Sometimes I forget North and South Dakota exist. Also, I sometimes forget Bronson Arroyo is still playing baseball. With his beautiful flow, guitar skills and permission to wear Hawaiian shirts due to advanced age (he’s like 90 in MLB years), Bronson Arroyo IS Free Love. Also, soul patch.
6. Josh Donaldson – Bringer of Rain
Bold. It’s hard to love the Blue Jays if you’re looking from the outside, but you have to appreciate boldness, particularly when it’s done in a not-sounding-like-the-coaches-son kind of way. Those kids feel way too many emotions in the huddle.
5. Charlie Blackmon – Chuck Nazty
Look him up. You won’t be disappointed.
4. Chris Archer – Flaco Fuerte
Flaco Fuerte = skinny strong. I can guarantee Archer asked a Spanish-speaking teammate how to say that years ago and his go-to Spanish phrase is “Yo soy flaco fuerte.” Yours can be “Quiero ser payaso profesional.” Give it a shot.
3. Cody Bellinger – CodyLove
There is a 0% chance anyone besides Bellinger came up with this nickname.
2. Aaron Hicks and Aaron Altherr – A-Aron
I was super disappointed when I saw that two people were using this, but Key & Peele is always a win.
1. Kyle Seager – Corey’s Brother
Perfect in every way.
Look up your favorite team to see their plans for Players Weekend. Try not to think of MLB’s futuristic twist on uniforms from the ’90s, because this is actually better.