The Snowman is a terrible movie.
If that is the required bottom-line detail that was required from the review, there it is.
For the masochists in the audience, the lead and perhaps the heaviest thing that weighs down this clunker is that is riddled with so many clichés that it’s impossible to enjoy.
Heading into the void, it was anticipated that this would be at the very least a solid thriller. In theory the concept is very good but in execution it renders the premise to be corny and laughable.
The primary hook is that a serial killer is hunting down women in Norway and doing unimaginable things to them.
In his wake, he builds a snowman on the premises to leave as his calling card. All serial killers have to have a good calling card, so the concept of taking such a celebrated symbol of joy and defiling it felt like it would make for good filmmaking.
That assumption was terribly wrong. The drunk detective that did a good woman wrong trope is embarrassing to all that are involved.
And those that are involved should all know better as the credits read like a list of names you want at the front of a project.
The problem could easily be that the entire production is riddled with too much talent.
Doing battle is an award winner director Tomas Alfredson, an acclaimed writer Hossein Amini and an Oscar darling in Michael Fassbender.
Fassbender plays the detective Hole (yup, the character from the Jo Nesbo books) and attempts to do so with the reckless abandon that the role requires yet it feels like he’s being reeled in.
And in neutering his performance, the domino effect of cinematic tragedy begins. For a variety of reasons, Hole often finds himself being cast as the village idiot in scenes with other pivotal characters.
And those characters can even be out-of-place gadgets that force watchers to question what they are watching.
Did Alfredson want to make a psycho-thriller that was anchored by a detective that’s an anti-hero? Or did he set out to make a spy flick?
You can’t have it both ways and when you try to, you get the worst of everything.
The Snowman is a confusing mess. Not all ideas are good ideas and not every set of talented people can create magic together.
Watch: The Snowman Trailer