After being a reality star on the show Second Wives Club and getting a divorce from her famous Beverly Hills plastic surgeon husband, Veronika Obeng is now making a name for herself and raising 5 children on her own. Salute Magazine managed to catch up with her and ask her a few questions about the show, dating life and future endeavors.
Salute: How was your overall experience on Second Wives Club?
Veronika: It was a good experience. I definitely have no complaints or regrets. It was my first time working on a major television project and for the most part, my castmates were decent people, [who were] great to work with.
Salute: Are you still friends with your castmates?
Veronika: That’s the thing you know this is Hollywood. So, you meet [a lot of] people, but it doesn’t mean you are best friends even if you work and live with them everyday for years. I still have my same best friends and every once in a while, we catch drinks. No harm, no foul.
Salute: Would you consider doing reality TV again?
Veronika: I definitely would because I think [that there is] something very powerful about being able to tell your story. [It’s] not even just for [myself] but for other people [too]. I didn’t realize how going there [and seeing other people go there as well] really helped me, that was kind of shocking. I would definitely be open to doing reality television again, not just to impact other people, but to share [my] journey and for people to know the truth. LA is just full of lies, it feels good to tell your truth.
Salute: How has motherhood been since the divorce?
Veronika: I don’t want to say motherhood has just been difficult, but since I filed for divorce, I guess it was shocking to me to realize how much my ex-partner was just not going to support me in any fashion or form. Yes, a divorce can be nasty. He’s upset. I’m not upset about anything I just want to move forward with my life.
Even after everything he’s done, he’s just turned into, “Well, I don’t owe you anything,” “Screw you if you don’t want to be married to me.” It’s like I can deal with [him] feeling that way about me but help me with our children. It’s like pulling teeth to get him even to cover the most basic expense.
I never imagined I would go from working in a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon’s office, driving a Rolls-Royce and being able to provide my kids with anything to my children being pulled out of their private schools because their dad won’t pay. You would never think that a man would do that like these are our children, but I’ve had to live through that reality.
Motherhood for me since filing for a divorce has been a readjustment to understanding that I’m doing this journey by myself, and the other person will only help as much as they are forced to by a court not out of what’s right or wrong for the kids.
I’ve just had to come to that realization and adjust that it’s just me and these 5 kids. If I can’t figure it out, it’s not going to get done. It’s been challenging, it’s been frustrating, but ultimately, they’re my reason for being alive, and it’s my joy to be their mother.
Salute: How have the kid’s been adjusting to the new changes?
Veronika: They’re kids, so it’s really hard on them. I got them a rescue dog almost as a form of therapy. I spend a lot of time just talking to them, making sure I understand how they’re thinking and feeling and making sure they’re not scared. It’s this brand-new shuffle back and forth that never seems to end. Once they get comfortable being back home, they have to shuffle back off.
So, for me, it’s just about making sure I’m providing every [kind of] support, even if it’s just a conversation when I’m giving them a hug and an extra piece of candy [asking] them, “How are you feeling today, kid? Did you have a good time at your daddy’s?” “Good take your shoes off you’re going to be here for a few days.” Making sure they feel secure as much as I can even though they’re kind of caught in this storm. They may not understand it, but they feel it.
Salute: How has dating been since the divorce?
Veronika: I’ve gone on some dates definitely. It’s hard out here. I haven’t dated in so long that I don’t even know what to do. I think I come across as awkward or even mean because I’m like, “Look, I have 5 kids, l have 30 minutes, I have time for 1 drink.” “Do you have good credit?” “Are you interested in having a real relationship?” “Because you are not allowed to waste my time.” And they’re like “Do you want a margarita?” or “That’s so heavy lady.”
So, I’m just fumbling my way through it. I definitely want to fall in love again, but I’m willing to wait for the right guy, I don’t want a repeat of “almost” Mr. Right ever again.
Salute: You run a blog and a podcast with two other girlfriends tell us a little bit about that.
Veronika: My podcast is the most incredible, fun thing ever. We wanted the SAC podcast to be relatable. The one thing that I find so funny is I grew up in Oklahoma in the country and my cohosts and very good friends grew up in different places all over the world. But now we all find ourselves in Los Angeles and we’ve lived some pretty amazing lives when you look at the stories.
But what I found fascinating is that at the end of the day no matter where we come from, what we have been through, what we’ve had, we are so alike, and we are so similar in our stories. Whether your story includes a $100 million divorce or a guy that won’t take an extra shift at the factor to pay his child support, our stories are so similar, the way we feel, the way we hurt, the way we get excited, the way we love, the way our kids are our life. It doesn’t matter what walk of life you are from women fundamentally have so many incredible things we share. I just want to explore how we are all so much alike and how awesome life is. Like come sit with your girlfriends and be realistic, honest and raw and let’s talk about the stuff that makes us the same instead of the stuff that makes us different.
It’s such a great project, I love my cohost Melissa Ford, and Laura Govan. [We bring] totally different point of views and [come from different] walks of life, from partying all over the world and having anything you can imagine to mother of four. [Even though] we bring so many different point of views to the table, at the end of the day, we are all the same. We are women who love ‘Love’, who love our families and just want to live good, strong, healthy lives. I think every person’s like that white, black, rich, or poor.
My blog is an exploration into motherhood. No one ever tells you motherhood can be absolutely disgusting. No one ever tells you, you will end up with S** on your face. It’s about exploring all of it and how beautiful all of it is. Whether my 2-year-old S** his diaper off and literally takes a S** in my stairwell and I’m just screaming, “OMG, I worked 8 hours today, I just made dinner from scratch and I have poop under my nails” and he’s laughing singing a Power Ranger song. After that moment is over its hilarious and its beautiful.
It’s about celebrating everything motherhood, the good, the bad, the ugly, these are all victories. Everyday is a victory when you get through motherhood. If your kids are still alive and they wrap their arms around your neck and say “man I love you” you’re a winner, you are good enough. Don’t judge yourself, don’t be too hard on yourself and don’t be too judgmental of other people, this is hard enough already.
Motherhood is so hard. It’s about being able to take some of the things that happen, making light of them and celebrating that moms out here are winning. While you see a raggedy top knot, black circles under my eyes, and sweats that need to be washed my kids see a winner! I’m a winner, I made spaghetti and went to soccer today. That’s what my blogs about, celebrating everyday victories, and everyday superheroes and what’s it really like to be a mom. Not when you have 4 nannies and “OMG, the pediatrician rescheduled me for tomorrow, how could she! I have gulf” It’s about the real deal like running out of diapers.
It’s my passion project when I have time I really focus on it, but it’s kind of me stripping back everything and putting my truth out there. I’m not afraid to say, “yeah, because of my divorce I’m broke, because of my divorce, I struggle” and I’m not blaming another person I’m just telling you how it is. We should be able to tell our truths and not be judged. I should be able to tell you what my day was like and not be judged and it’s for all moms to say, “I’m not going to judge myself or someone else for what their journey is.” “If my kid shows up to school dressed up like a ninja turtle, mind your business he’s a happy, good kid.” It’s a peak into reality.
Salute: Are there any other projects you are currently working on?
Veronika: I am working on a few projects. I’m potentially working on a show about my life and my family. I had to go back to work because of my divorce, so I am now with this amazing plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills, DR. G at Rock Star Beauty. I’ve literally had to restart my life since Second Wives and my divorce. Moving from Bel Air to starting over. I’m 35 and I’m literally starting over, and it feels good.
I’m working on that project, showing my new life as [someone who went from being] a trophy wife with millions of dollars to a working single mom of 5. I don’t know how you can turn around more than that in 18 months. It’s about capturing that journey, and my families support. I have 6 brothers and sisters and 3 of them have moved to LA just to help me with my kids and to help me get through this.
It’s not like they are bums who have nothing else to do. My baby brother is a doctor and he moved all the way here- got a California medical license just to help pick a kid up from soccer and so on because we don’t have our parents, our parents are gone.
That project is on how we pull together as a family, we can do anything. Money doesn’t make you. It’s what you’re made of and I feel like I’m really made of something different. I never needed my money to feel special or to be happy. It’s all the other stuff, it’s about your character. When someone takes all your money, your cars, and your diamonds, what are you made of when you don’t have anything left but who you were born as? That’s where I am now working on that project, literally working, and working on my podcast. Just very hopeful, happy and thank God still a size 2.
Salute: Anything else you would like to share with the Salute audience?
Veronika: Thank you for supporting the SAC podcast and for checking back with little ol’ me- a girl who grew up on a dirt road. I never imaged life would give me so much and even when God pulls you back, I have so much more than I ever bargained for. Nothing could ever steal my joy, I’m just moving forward.